the emotional minefield that is kids.

I think as adults we forget sometimes the impact of the little things. And this holidays the juggling act has become just that little bit harder and I find myself trying to tiptoe through the emotional minefield that is my kids childhood without causing any long term damage and its hard!!

You are trying to clean up as there are toys everywhere and a child sees that as mum doesn't like my play, she doesn't appreciate what I had done.

reading a story with one child when the other wants something, you tell him just 5 minutes I'm currently doing ab and c, the child thinks the other sibling is the favorite, he gets put first.

You try to fold the washing and they want your attention, just a job that needs to be done and the child is thinking she puts housework in front of me, I'm not her first priority.

You decide to cook a meal that EVERYONE will eat instead of 3 mini meals and the child looks at this and thinks she doesn't care about my likes, she won't put extra effort into it for me.

Often something said off the cuff and adult may 10 minutes later forget what was said but 20 years later it has helped form the childs self esteem, their trust issues, and bubbled away and still hurts.

It truly is a minefield, and its scary. Its scary knowing what you say and do now can have such long reaching effects. That a moment I will barely remember or not at all can have such a impact.

I know this as some of the biggest and most hurtful moments of my life that still to this day make my heart ache and form rage the adults involved don't remember. So I try every day to remember that it can have a long impact that it can hurt and hurt for years, so you watch what you say, you try to ignore the washing, ignore the mother guilt, and try to keep an eye on the future and hope nothing you say or do forms those invisible scars that are never forgotten by the child.

but its not easy, and I am constantly aware that I may of failed and no doubt will fail again in the future. So you try to firm the childs self esteem their self image their belief in their family by hugging them everyday and telling them you love them, by putting down the cleaning and watching and helping them make a mess instead. I don't know if it is enough and probably won't know until the child is much much older if it was successful, if the memories are good ones, if they knew to the marrow of their bones how much we loved and love them.

but all i can do is try.

Merry merry christmas!

May your day tomorrow be filled with good food, good friends and a LOT of laughter. Joy, relaxation, family and of course pressies!!

I can't wait for tomorrow, the kids still don't really get the whole santa deal but they do understand presents! And have been doing the countdown with mummy till they get their toys!

now if only the rain can stay away for tomorrow that wouldjust make my day!

I hope tomorrow is all you could dream of and santa is kind to you and your family.

they are hiding!

The problem with being all organised and buying items and presents throughout the year and then hiding them, is eventually you need to be able to FIND them all!

Started gathering together the kids christmas toys and jons birthday presents in the hope of seeing if anything vital is missing. I was clever and took note of every item i bought ( to try to avoid a replay of liams first christmas as I unhid them all and had a stack bigger then me as I'd been buying whenever I could since boxing day!) only problem is I can't find some of them!

here are some interesting spots:
2 mario 13 inch figurines were hidden in the pantry behind the flour
1 mario book was hidden in the linen cupboard behind the tinsel
1 ds game was hiding in my underwear drawer
3 books for peter hidden in the box of unsorted photos that need to go into albums!

I'm still missing 2 full sets of figurines, 1 box set of mario dvds, a fisherprice teaset, and a boo piggy bank!

ARGHH

thankgod I started this early instead of waiting just before jons birthday or christmas arrived!!

oops!

yes I am still alive, but sadly have been a busy bee but not overly creative, plus peter and myself are still every 2 - 3 weeks suffering from the relapses of the food poisoning we had a few months ago (according to the doctor they should calm down in the next couple of months though) and have NO energy what so ever.

but we are alive we are well and I will try to be better i swear!!

meet super mario liam!!

It's been an interesting week! Liam had his book week parade so of course wanted to go as mario, so he got one of his christmas presents early (we had intended to give the kids each a costume for christmas - jons got luigi) and though it was a pain to get him to get used to the texture involved and had to change things around a bit (different mario cap and forgot the clothes and put a full outfit on underneath it) he eventually got used to it!

And he won a prize!! A fantastic pop up book that jon has been enjoying but liam hasn't looked at once lol. always the way!

what else has been happening? oh jon had his first real stack and cut through his lip and freaked out mummy and daddy to the extreme, turned around to get a nappy and he frog hopped over the arm of the couch and had a mouthful of blood, was sure he'd just broken a tooth *shudders* interesting thing though was his daycare despite being told exactly what had occured called us up 10 mins after pete had dropped him off to daycare and told us to come pick him up as they had decided it was possibly the beginnings of a cold sore (despite us both seeing what occured) and was *eek* contagious and so he has missed out on daycare this week and was so disappointed

heres the horribly contagious cut. idiots.

this weekend is my birthday *shudders* 29!! Though to be honest I'm looking forward to it, got some good pressies and I get to go havea play with cold processed soap once its all here something I have wanted to do oh for just about forever lol.

though it does mean i have to start getting serious about my health, I've been coasting for ages and although made some changes recently I want to be fit and healthy for my 30s.. peter and myself are off the caffeine now, which is a big thing for us lol I swear we kept Pepsi afloat for a few years =p

its a public holiday up here and the kids are running amuck so I gotta go! oops!

toilet training

I always figured before kids toilet training was one of those solid lines in the sand, you passed the milestone there was a zelda trumpet fanfare and didn't have to worry about it again.

Unfortunately since having children I have learnt no its a line on a constantly moving belt and the smallest stumble sends you straight back over it. *sighs* Liam has started having accidents again, and I'm not sure how to handle it.. honestly though his mental age is only about 3 so really I shouldn't be surprised but I had really hoped I could stop dealing with poop or at least his poop by this stage of the game!

Jon hasn't even STARTED toilet training so for a while at least it seems I'm going to be up to my elbows in shit. great lol.

circus time!!

what a weekend =) we went yesterday to a community event given by rotary club and local businesses where the sn schools get free tickets to the circus! We have tried these a few times but with liams sensory issues its always a battle. First year we got to the door of the big top and mega freak out to the point of dry gagging, needless to say we handed over our tickets (as the sponsors need numbers to keep the program going) and went home, 2nd year we lasted maybe 15 minutes before leaving

BUT!!

first time liam has sat through a whole event, the music was really loud and he had A LOT of difficulty in the beginning shaking hands over his ears it was really sad but he was watching really closely so I just tucked him in close and we watched and he LOVED it!

It was fantastic. jon got a bit too much (1 and a half hour show) but lol thats toddlers for you, the rest of it was amazing. And we are on monday writing in to the sponsors to let them know how much we appreciated it.

A lot of families its the only family outing they get all year due to the costs of an SN munchykin.

and on that topic, got a phone call from jons paed - costs are going up in november (its currently $380) can't tell me how much it will be going up though - which needless to say is going to make budgeting hellish. So we have jons birthday, right near christmas, we are meant to be saving for melbourne and all the detail they can give me is 'maybe a hundred more' WTF!! huge jump =( though if this assessment goes well hopefully it will be his last paed appointment! yay!

i just love that attitude too, oh maybe a hundred, its almost 400 atm! jesus. my wallet weeps lol. Ahh well the joys of children lol.

mwah! enjoy the weekend and just think 1 week then its SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!!