the emotional minefield that is kids.

I think as adults we forget sometimes the impact of the little things. And this holidays the juggling act has become just that little bit harder and I find myself trying to tiptoe through the emotional minefield that is my kids childhood without causing any long term damage and its hard!!

You are trying to clean up as there are toys everywhere and a child sees that as mum doesn't like my play, she doesn't appreciate what I had done.

reading a story with one child when the other wants something, you tell him just 5 minutes I'm currently doing ab and c, the child thinks the other sibling is the favorite, he gets put first.

You try to fold the washing and they want your attention, just a job that needs to be done and the child is thinking she puts housework in front of me, I'm not her first priority.

You decide to cook a meal that EVERYONE will eat instead of 3 mini meals and the child looks at this and thinks she doesn't care about my likes, she won't put extra effort into it for me.

Often something said off the cuff and adult may 10 minutes later forget what was said but 20 years later it has helped form the childs self esteem, their trust issues, and bubbled away and still hurts.

It truly is a minefield, and its scary. Its scary knowing what you say and do now can have such long reaching effects. That a moment I will barely remember or not at all can have such a impact.

I know this as some of the biggest and most hurtful moments of my life that still to this day make my heart ache and form rage the adults involved don't remember. So I try every day to remember that it can have a long impact that it can hurt and hurt for years, so you watch what you say, you try to ignore the washing, ignore the mother guilt, and try to keep an eye on the future and hope nothing you say or do forms those invisible scars that are never forgotten by the child.

but its not easy, and I am constantly aware that I may of failed and no doubt will fail again in the future. So you try to firm the childs self esteem their self image their belief in their family by hugging them everyday and telling them you love them, by putting down the cleaning and watching and helping them make a mess instead. I don't know if it is enough and probably won't know until the child is much much older if it was successful, if the memories are good ones, if they knew to the marrow of their bones how much we loved and love them.

but all i can do is try.